


A Valentine's Gift Exchange

by ramblingAnthropologist



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Awkward dumb assholes being adorkable, Because y'all love me shoving OCs in with my OCs, Introducing TItus Vibrius, M/M, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, Yay better title!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 06:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13698486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramblingAnthropologist/pseuds/ramblingAnthropologist
Summary: Shit, shit, SHIT, what do you even get a Turian for Valentine’s Day? Does this even look like food? Alistair Shepard is at a loss for words and a crunch for time as a different type of V-Day looms. Will the object of his affection enjoy it, or is he going to be spending some floor time by the drive core? Only  time can tell. Also RIP Titus Vibrius for taking one for the team. Good job, bro. Garrus appreciates it.(Set during 2 I guess? Probably? Garrus got his face blown off but he's ok!)





	A Valentine's Gift Exchange

“Uncle Al, does this look right?”

“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Kelly. I have no idea.”

It looked… brown. Maybe? Hell if he knew. Alistair frowned as he stared down into the pan set in front of him, prodding it with the spoon his niece had advised him her father used the most. To him, it looked gross.

But it wasn’t for him, so maybe that was good?

Down on the floor, Spectre meowed for attention and rubbed up against his leg. She was still trying to get treats, despite how many Kelly had given her upon arriving home from school. The greedy little thing was going to get fat at this rate, and she knew it. There was something in those eyes that told him so.

Right, this was why he liked space hamsters.

“The recipe says we need to cool it on the counter for twenty minutes before cutting it.” Kelly continued squinting at the translated recipe. “But… it says to triple the time if you’re not on Palaven.”

Yeah, because radiation was so great for setting sweets. Turians were fucking weird.

“Better listen to the recipe then.” Alistair reached down to pat her head. “Don’t you have some homework to do?”

Her groans caused him to laugh as they left the kitchen for their treats to cool. The calendar they passed reminded them both it was February 13. The day after was circled in red and something was scribbled in. What, he hadn’t paid attention, but luckily he wasn’t the one babysitting for it.

He kind of had plans on his own.

“Hopefully he likes it.” Alistair frowned as he sat down on the couch. Spectre curled up next to him while her owner went off to retrieve her school books. All of this still felt so new to him that he didn’t really know what to expect.

Hell, he’d never even done this for a human before. How would a Turian react to Valentine’s Day candy?

“You think it’ll be ok, Spec?” He nudged the mass of black fur in the side to get her attention. All he got in return was a lazy swipe of her paw, claws in for once. She had sated her fill for blood lust two days ago when he had first showed up, and the bandages on his ankles proved it. At least she hadn’t gone for the face this time.

They were still making fun of him for that back on the Normandy.

Alistair sighed as he looked down at his omni-tool. An hour ago, Tali had been giving him advice that had fallen somewhat flat. Right next to her message was Mordin’s concerning dietary differences. Either he had misunderstood the question, or he had gotten lost in his train of thought and hit send. Given the fact it was at least three or four pages, both were likely.

“I just needed a straight answer. All I needed. Ia that too much to ask?” He sighed again and closed his eyes. No more messages were coming and all he had left to do was wait. But he wanted to do anything but, and it was creating an uncomfortable static in the pit of his stomach that felt like his implant going haywire. Only this was all natural, all him, and all encompassing.

How did normal people even do this dating thing? Was that even what they were doing?

He would have stayed there like a bump on a log sulking – wait, not sulking, he was perfectly fine thank you very much – but the beeping from his omni-tool drew his attention. There was a new message waiting for him, and the sender made his heart skip a beat.

What did Garrus want?

Heart still fluttering, Alistair opened it and scanned through. Without realizing it, he started reading aloud. “You’ll be back by the 14th, right? Pretty sure Jack and Miranda might kill each other if you stay any longer.”

His heart dropped to his shoes. Now Alistair really was sulking as he tapped out a quick response – yes, make sure they don’t get anything pointy – and sent it out with a sigh. Now he was back and alone with his thoughts. If that hadn’t been the proverbial kick in the teeth, he didn’t know what else was.

“A-are you alright?”

A translated voice caused him to turn his head. There was a Turian standing in the doorway with a very excited elementary student attached to his legs, telling him about her day. She was keeping him from walking, so no doubt he had meant to ask for help.

“Oh, sorry, Titus. I’m fine.” Alistair didn’t really mind his brother-in-law much. They didn’t really interact. “Wait… shit you’re a Turian!”

Titus gave him a look over Kelly’s cheerful cry of “That’s ten credits for the swear jar!” but at least had the grace not to be too hard on him. Instead, he managed to pry the human growth from his leg and into his arms where there was easier movement.

“I di- uh, I didn’t know that. Thank you, Alistair.”

Now Alistair was blushing in embarrassment. “Sorry, I uh… I need your help.”

He gestured towards the kitchen where his creation was still cooling. “In the culinary field.”

Judging from the look he was getting, this was going to need some explanation. Alistair fought back the burgeoning headache with a reminder of who it was for. He hoped that Garrus was going to appreciate this, because it was going to take some effort.

Next time, if there was one, he was just going to buy it.

—

“I’m an idiot, Tali.”

“You’re also in the middle of the floor, Shepard.”

Alistair sighed from his spot on the floor a little too near the drive core. He had only been back on the Normandy for about an hour, and already he wished he was somewhere else entirely. Since they were in the middle of space, there wasn’t many options as to where else to go. Maybe he could find a nice air duct to crawl into and die.

“Why didn’t I remember it was a human holiday?” He put his burning face in his hands. “I’m so stupid.”

“It’s the thought that counts?” There was a question in Tali’s electronic voice as she continued working away at her console. Off to the side, his two favorite engineers were clearly enjoying this pathetic display. He made a mental note to make sure they got early duty for the next week or so.“I doubt he minded getting free candy anyway.”

That still wouldn’t take away the look of utter confusion that had been on Garrus’ face as he had handed over the wrapped box filled with candy. It had taken three different tries – once that had given Titus a stomachache so bad that he had been in the bathroom for an hour – to get it right, and that was the result he got. The blankest look anyone had ever given him, even including all the ones from boot camp. Hurt pride wasn’t even a factor, that had just been embarrassing.

Still, it wasn’t like Alistair could sit in engineering all day and hide from his problems. He kind of had actual work to do. Besides, the floor was cold. Sighing, he returned to his feet and dusted himself off as best he could.

“Thanks for listening.”

“And thank you for the leftovers.” At least someone was appreciating his hard work. That was something as he gave Tali a wave and headed towards the elevator. Maybe he added a little extra force when he punched the buttons, but could anyone blame him?

At least the day was almost over if the blinking display from his omni-tool was right – which it was, synced clocks and all that good stuff – so he could put it behind him. Or, at least Alistair thought he could as the elevator door slid open.

Problem was, it was hard to forget how Garrus had looked at him when Garrus was currently looking at him.

Fuck.

Alistair opened his mouth but nothing came out. Instead, he just closed it again as his face started to turn red. He tried to look anywhere but at who was standing in front of him like it was no big deal. So he looked towards the floor, towards his feet.

Maybe that’s when he noticed Garrus had something tucked under his arm, half hidden by the elevator door. It wasn’t another damned report, thank the gods or spirits or whoever the fuck was listening. Instead, it was… fluffy and had a short tail he would know from twenty paces away no matter what.

“You uh… you ran off before I could give this to you.”

Suddenly, Alistair was being nudged with a plush face. Two round eyes jabbed him right in the side. The plush hamster had to be at least ten times bigger than Saren, large enough to serve as a pillow if he wanted it to be. And it was in the hands of a certain Turian who couldn’t look at him either.

“It’s for me?”

Well, wasn’t he the master of dialogue?

At least it got Garrus to chuckle, which did awful things to his stomach. “Who else likes space hamsters that much? I didn’t know what you’re supposed to get someone but the eyes made me think of you.”

Indeed, Alistair noted the toy’s eyes were blue as Garrus handed it over to him. All he could really do was hug the damn thing as he tried to figure out something to say that wasn’t completely stupid. Judging on the situation, maybe it would have been allowed.

Normally, thank you would have probably been a good one. But damn if he couldn’t get his tongue to work right then.

Luckily Garrus wasn’t finished talking. “Happy Valentine’s Day?”

There was that same uptick in tone that the translator always used to signify a question. Somehow, Alistair was really starting to like that. At least, he told himself that as he held his hamster friend close in order to figure out what to say.

“Uh… thanks… you too.” A smile crossed his face. “Guess I shouldn’t have worried about giving you chocolate then?”

“Only that you apparently nearly put somebody in the hospital with it. Glad that wasn’t the one you gave me.”

Both of them chuckled as they stood there, no doubt keeping the elevator from servicing other people on the Normandy. As the seconds ticked away and a new day began, Alistair found he didn’t really mind that much at all.

They could deal. Half of them were ex-Alliance anyway; they could take the damn stairs.


End file.
